i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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