I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
