All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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