im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
