Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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