Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize