toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
