the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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