Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize