Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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