How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
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I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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