At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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