she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
