He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
