So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
