highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
