fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
