My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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