This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
