This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
