This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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