Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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