You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think people are normalizing furries
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize