her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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