she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
