just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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