My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i think i have two assholes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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