I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
