Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You left your phone here
Wait...
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