SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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