k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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