From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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