A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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