Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
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Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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