I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
