and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
