Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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