She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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