5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
wow bdsm is so cute
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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