And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
