It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im holly from the hills drunk
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
not ubering you a puppy
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
