Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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