all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do vagina's smell?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
