he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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