I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
