i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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