i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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