so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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