I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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