By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
