And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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