Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
