dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
