How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I AM VODKA MAN
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize