You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
