that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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