Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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